Old Hobbies & Old Habits
Updated: Feb 3, 2021
This weekend I plan on dusting off the old violin and I'm hoping my new neighbors won't mind me scratching away at it.
Despite having years of musical training, I've completely ditched my violin. I still remember melodramatically quitting one day after practice; which by the way, is the only way to do it. Practicing chords for hours turned something I had been passionate about from childhood into hard labour. It was also very time consuming and at that point my focus was on earning scholarships to pay for college. Thinking about it now, had I put some more practice into the violin, maybe I could've secured a music scholarship. Oh well!
Either way, the violin and I have had a longstanding love-hate relationship. I grew up listening to classical music regularly and jealously watching young maestros play. At that time we couldn't afford it but my mom never stopped until she could make playing the violin a reality for me. To be honest, the other large part of why I quit was out of concern for the financial toll it had on my mother. To this day, she still reminds of how great I could've been. It seems we both have violin regrets.
Sometimes I think about the interests, talents, and hobbies I have given up on and the regret is overwhelming. I start thinking like "Damn, had I stuck with it I could be like so-and-so crushing the musical baddie game". In an effort to make space for "new and next" in my life I have decided to address those feelings and put some new energy into these old hobbies.
Usually my violin sits in a closet and I'm embarrassed to say I had to save it from mold the last time I took her out. There is a lot of shame and regret tied to those strings. But not this weekend! I know I won't be as good as I was in the past but I am determined to spend some time with my violin. I've resolved that when we say yes to one thing we also say no to others, so regretting it only makes sense if I didn't use that time to pursue other talents. You know what I mean??
So as I said, this weekend will be ALL about peaceful and joyful activities. DASSIT! No more regret about unpracticed talent and lost skill. I am doing it all to find the joy and fun again.